Engagement

In Afghanistan the interactions between men and women is much different then what we experience in the US. Here women do not interact with men unless they absolutely have too. It's not that they don't want to, but rather if they are seen with a man that is not a relative it looks poorly on the family and they could be punished or worse. As a result most marriages are arranged, with the couple having barely met or even spoken before the marriage actually takes place.

I have two young men in my class, Fawad and Nesar, who as a result of the culture and customs of Afghanistan have absolutely no experience with women/girls. When my friend Boris was helping me out, they took the opportunity to ask him how to talk to girls and what kind of things a man would say to a woman. This progressed to how a man should propose to a woman. Boris took pity on them and told them a few things they could say to girls and also showed them how to propose to a girl. Fawad who always wants to make sure to get it right decided to practice on Baba Rob, for some reason it kinda freaked Rob out.

Fawad then came to me, asked me for my hand, proceeded to get down on one knee, and asked me to marry him. At first I thought he was just practicing on me, as he did this multiple times. I even had both Fawad and Nesar propose to me at the same time! I soon learned that he was quite serious, every day he asked me to marry him, referred to himself as my fiance, told me about the beautiful children he could give me, sent me the lyrics from love songs to my facebook, and continued to ask other "experienced" men what sweet nothing he could murmor in my ear.

On his Birthday I decided to have a special dinner, so we ordered out food, and we got him a Birthday cake, deciding to take advantage of the situation he made sure that we cut the cake together and he then fed me cake. Soon after this I had to break it to Fawad that I would not be able to marry him, I am pretty certain he has since healed from the rejection, but on the other hand he was able to practice his proposal over and over again, so the next time he decides to use it, it should be perfect!